Please Don’t Drink the Holy Water

Homeschool Days, Rosary Nights, and Other Near Occasions of Sin

Please Don’t Drink the Holy Water book cover
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$15.95

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“If heaven's a banquet, will I have to do dishes?”

That's all Catholic mom Susie Lloyd wants to know. Marriage and motherhood have taught her the rest, including the things that are most important in life: “Metaphysical realities like the existence of God can get along without my help. Cleaning the bathroom can't.”

Homeschooling her kids has left Susie wise beyond her years: she's learned why pi is square instead of round, and searched out the best places to buy a cow's eyeball for the science fair. “In fact,” she says, “Socrates had it easy. His students never interrupted him to go to the bathroom or ask when lunch was.”

Susie's husband is always there to support her: “Greg tells me education would have no purpose if kids didn't start out ignorant. He seems to think that will keep me from strangling them.”

Yet she's always patient, even when strangers gawk at her and her five daughters and ask: “Are they all yours?”, “Are you done yet?”, “Don't you have a TV?”

Susie tells them that raising five girls isn't really so hard (at least not until they're teenagers). After all, “Daughters don't have the same needs as sons. They can live for days on hors d'oeuvres.”

So come along for a ride in Susie's full-size van as she faces the trials of Family Rosary and tangles with snide education experts, gruff confessors, and relatives who tell her it's time to wake up and join the “real world.”

But Susie's already in the Real World: a happy Catholic family on its way to heaven!

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  • Pages:
  • Format(s): Paperback, eBook
  • ISBN: 978-1-928832-19-5
  • Product Code: 199
  • Availability: In Stock
  • Publication Date: September 01, 2006
  • Categories: By Title, eBooks, Marriage and Family Life
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Very Funny and Interesting
I really enjoyed this book. It was a quick and easy read and kept me laughing and entertained throughout. I highly recommend it.
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Catholic Homeschooling Humor
This book is a lot of fun to read for the Catholic homeschooling mom trying her best. She candidly shares coping with criticism from the "real world" to being tired to frumpiness. She makes a good literary companion for the Catholic mom facing imperfection and feeling alone.
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Absolutely hilarious look at family and faith
When it comes to writing style and voice, Susie Lloyd's a modern-day, Catholic version of Erma Bombeck, only with a greater number of adorable offspring and a bit sassier sarcasm. She'd make a great stand-up comedian if she was allowed to go on longer field trips than homeschooling her children permits.
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Talented, delightful author (in her not-so-spare time)
A delightful, witty little book that presents to the world a talented writer, a sort of Catholic homeschooling Erma Bombeck. If she isn't already syndicated in every major Catholic paper in the U.S., that shows you how out-of-it a lot of those periodicals are. Her style is gently acerbic and playfully respectful. She's breezy, but you realize there's a significant intellect here--and not just in the occasional (near occasional?) scholastic reference. Plus, Mrs. Lloyd does a great thing--she completely demystifies and humanizes "homeschoolers"--the parents and kids that are, with little fanfare, revolutionizing education. They are the wave of the future, as statistics are bearing out. So folks might as well start getting to know them. This book, full of mishaps, missteps, but also love and laughter, is a great start. It will bring smiles, grins, and, every now and then, a laugh-out-loud. It is charming, witty, and --in more than one sense, perhaps--graceful.
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Very Entertaining
I took this book to the hospital with me, to read while resting up after the birth of our eighth child. I defiantly recognized myself and my family in the pages! It was perfect light reading about subjects close to my heart.... my Faith, my family, and homeschooling. I'm sure the nurses wondered what made the crazy grand multi-para in room 301 laugh out loud every few minutes. It was this book. Just the Rx to help you see the funnier side of this counter cultural life we have chosen. Not all of the selections are as funny as, say, Erma Bombeck, but they do make you think, and chances are you will see yourself and your family in these pages!
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